Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

I was an obsessed fan of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon show – and had much of the merchandise. The action figures, of course, and I get excited again thinking of the elaborate accessories. I had the sewer, the blimp, the catapult, and the Technodrome. Remember the Technodrome?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem, conceived and co-written by Seth Rogen, looks fantastic. It’s a comic book brought to life as film noir. I should be over the moon about it, but unfortunately, I got much more style than substance. It contains a few excellent things. Long-time fans know that April O’Neil is traditionally an established news reporter on the local station. Here, she is an awkward high-schooler with aspirations of being an anchor one day, if she can ever get over her tendency to nervous-vomit whenever she gets in front of a camera. She isn’t conventionally pretty in the Hollywood sense, and has a couple pounds on her. This was refreshing. And finally, the turtles actually SOUND like they could be teenagers. A couple of them haven’t made it through the voice change yet.

Voice talent by the large cast is done well, with my favorite being Jackie Chan as Splinter – the rat who trains the turtles and acts as their father figure. An appropriate casting choice. We also have Ice Cube, Maya Rudolph, John Cena, Giancarlo Esposito, and Rogen.

All in all, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem is a fine if unremarkable representation of the turtles I grew up with. I loved a few choices the movie made, and was disappointed by some not made. I missed Shredder, Krang, my beloved Technodrome, and I don’t remember anyone saying “Cowabunga.” I was 10 years old in the summer of 1991, when Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze came out on videocassette. The word around the neighborhood pool was that you could get it at Target for $13 – a great price for a new VHS release in those days. We had family visiting at the time, and I had an aunt and uncle happily volunteer to take me to that Target for the holy grail. After acquiring what we went for, the three of us went for pizza and a movie (Doc Hollywood - I loved it) at what used to be called the Roswell Mall.

I wasn’t expecting to share all that, but it’s an illustration of how much a franchise like this can mean to someone.